Rain, Rain, Rain!

We are meant to have rain for over ten days straight.  The river is wide and muddy.  Friends say it looks like the river in Willy Wonker's chocolate factory.

We have had a busy and lively weekend with our close friend Ed staying and also my brother Simon dropping in for a visit as well as some kids coming to play.

Lots of laughs, music, cooking and eating.

I am waiting to hear back from the job I applied for last weekend and applying for another two today.

I had a massage booking at a workplace last week that I really enjoyed.

It's all go!

View from the inside

I finally heard back from a job I applied for as a childbirth educator.  I didn't get it.  I'm disappointed as it would have been a cool job and definitely an issue I am really passionate about.  However, I have another job to apply for today so I'll keep my eye on the horizon.  And, I have a massage booking at a friend's workplace that I'm very excited about.

We have hot water again and it's fantastic.

Last week I tried to do more fun stuff with Manaaki after I picked him up from school.  Instead of just going home and letting him watch cartoons we went to the park, the op shop, out for ice cream, to the drive-through carwash.  It helped everyone's mood.  Today is cold and rainy so we went to the swimming pool.  When we go out just the two of us, I realise how valuable it is to spend that time together.

So I am feeling cautiously optimistic.  Our USA trip is fast approaching and I need to earn some Kate Sheppards.

That sinking feeling

It rained and rained and the street flooded so fast we didn't have time to move the car.  Sadly Jamie-Lee Cultus was swamped, a write-off.  Goodbye to the car that has seen us through the births of two children and many trips up north. Luckily we were well insured.  Before we could get too excited and start test driving second-hand cars, the hot water cylinder blew.  There goes the insurance money and no hot water for a week and a half.

I know I have a lot to be grateful for but I am finding it hard to see the bright side at the moment.

In some existential way I am feeling in need of comfort and I don't know quite where to find it.  My usual answer - junk food - is not helping. Parenting is a source of joy but also of stress.  Simple things like fitting the people mover into a narrow parking spot feel like they test the boundaries of my resilience.  At least I have a partner to weather the storm with.  "These things are just part of being a grown up", we tell each other, "Wah!"

Casting my memory back

Over six years ago now, I became a Mama for the first time.  In all the dreams and ambitions I have had in my life, this was the most important to me.  It wasn't an easy journey and conception was probably the hardest part.  I was blessed to have healthy pregnancies and straight-forward labours.

Now, that I am gradually entering the workforce with a school-aged child and toddler in tow, I am leaving that baby-phase behind me.  I feel so priviledged to have had that experience of labour, birth and early parenting and to get to know the emerging personalities of my children.

Life is always a double-edged sword.  I have a spacious house, a tree-filled backyard, a beautiful boy and girl and a loving partner. I also have a kitchen full of dirty dishes, a laundry stacked to the gills with junk and washing, a garden full of weeds and a body that bears the evidence of two pregnancies and a few too many bowls of ice cream.

I guess accepting this - that I am living the dream without everything being perfect, is the only way to be grateful for what I have without letting that gratitude be buried in lamenting the things I could do better in my life.

I have had a morning of sleeping in, a card and chocolates from the children, french toast and coffee prepared for me and time to read the papers in peace. Now I am going to go for a walk and contemplate the blessings in my life.

Wishing all those Mamas and soon-to-be-Mamas in my life a happy day!