California dreaming

We have been in California five days now. It's been jam packed with visiting friends and activities.

We went to the county fair and Rangimarie and I got to watch a talent show while Manaaki and the rest of the family tried out the rides. We ate hotdogs and caramel apples.

My favorite activity was the big bubble cauldrons right next to the mechanical bronco ride. Rangimarie and I say on a hay bale and watched the bubbles to the strains of country music playing from the bronco stall.

We walked through the livestock hall. Pigs are so freaky. A pink pig's back looks just like a pale white guy's back at the beach.

We've been to the beach and today we went to Ojai and played at Libbey park. Even after 5pm it was still really hot but the park had this cool walk through mister that was very refreshing. Afterwards we went to Bliss frozen yogurt where Manaaki got the most massive tub of froyo and luckily it didn't bankrupt us. They even had a little kid size table that was perfect for Rangimarie.

So far so good. The only sore point had been that as a parent you never really get a holiday and this has been a source of friction. Out of our usual routine we both feel like we've had even less time to ourselves than usual. I'm not quite sure how to do this better but if I find a solution I will let you know.

It's cold outside!

It's freezing outside and the backyard is a lake.  However, we are cosy inside with the fire and looking forward to a holiday in sunny, dry California.

We will be in Auckland for Manaaki's birthday so he had a party early with his friends.  He directed the decorating of his cake from the initial concept, shopping for decorations and finally directing me on how to apply the icing.  We were proud of the result.  Super Kids is his own super hero group that he has created with his friends and they are very serious about it.

I'm feeling a little stressed about getting ready for the trip but also excited about getting a break and very excited about meeting my new niece in Auckland before we go!

Warming up winter

It's been a really cozy winter so far.  We've had the fire cranking and there has been some beautiful still, sunny days.  The trees are brilliant golds and reds.  I'm starting to think autumn/early winter is my favourite season in Palmerston North.

The job hunt continues.  I got a rejection email from a DHB job that I had applied for but I'm still waiting to hear from some council jobs that I applied for and today I'm working on an application for two more jobs at the local museum.  I guess it's just a matter of keeping on baiting those hooks and eventually I will get a bite.

I felt newly invigorated with the massage booking that I had a few weeks back and so have been working on that again.  I did a bit of promotion in town dropping off my brochures to various places and my latest plan is to use my networks so I will ask my Mum to forward an invite to her friends to come along to a chair massage afternoon at my place.  I hosted one this weekend that I organised on Facebook and it was really fun.

We are getting more and more excited about our US trip.  It will be so great to have some time out as a family without the pressures of work and home.  This week's task is to renew my passport.

Rain, Rain, Rain!

We are meant to have rain for over ten days straight.  The river is wide and muddy.  Friends say it looks like the river in Willy Wonker's chocolate factory.

We have had a busy and lively weekend with our close friend Ed staying and also my brother Simon dropping in for a visit as well as some kids coming to play.

Lots of laughs, music, cooking and eating.

I am waiting to hear back from the job I applied for last weekend and applying for another two today.

I had a massage booking at a workplace last week that I really enjoyed.

It's all go!

View from the inside

I finally heard back from a job I applied for as a childbirth educator.  I didn't get it.  I'm disappointed as it would have been a cool job and definitely an issue I am really passionate about.  However, I have another job to apply for today so I'll keep my eye on the horizon.  And, I have a massage booking at a friend's workplace that I'm very excited about.

We have hot water again and it's fantastic.

Last week I tried to do more fun stuff with Manaaki after I picked him up from school.  Instead of just going home and letting him watch cartoons we went to the park, the op shop, out for ice cream, to the drive-through carwash.  It helped everyone's mood.  Today is cold and rainy so we went to the swimming pool.  When we go out just the two of us, I realise how valuable it is to spend that time together.

So I am feeling cautiously optimistic.  Our USA trip is fast approaching and I need to earn some Kate Sheppards.

That sinking feeling

It rained and rained and the street flooded so fast we didn't have time to move the car.  Sadly Jamie-Lee Cultus was swamped, a write-off.  Goodbye to the car that has seen us through the births of two children and many trips up north. Luckily we were well insured.  Before we could get too excited and start test driving second-hand cars, the hot water cylinder blew.  There goes the insurance money and no hot water for a week and a half.

I know I have a lot to be grateful for but I am finding it hard to see the bright side at the moment.

In some existential way I am feeling in need of comfort and I don't know quite where to find it.  My usual answer - junk food - is not helping. Parenting is a source of joy but also of stress.  Simple things like fitting the people mover into a narrow parking spot feel like they test the boundaries of my resilience.  At least I have a partner to weather the storm with.  "These things are just part of being a grown up", we tell each other, "Wah!"

Casting my memory back

Over six years ago now, I became a Mama for the first time.  In all the dreams and ambitions I have had in my life, this was the most important to me.  It wasn't an easy journey and conception was probably the hardest part.  I was blessed to have healthy pregnancies and straight-forward labours.

Now, that I am gradually entering the workforce with a school-aged child and toddler in tow, I am leaving that baby-phase behind me.  I feel so priviledged to have had that experience of labour, birth and early parenting and to get to know the emerging personalities of my children.

Life is always a double-edged sword.  I have a spacious house, a tree-filled backyard, a beautiful boy and girl and a loving partner. I also have a kitchen full of dirty dishes, a laundry stacked to the gills with junk and washing, a garden full of weeds and a body that bears the evidence of two pregnancies and a few too many bowls of ice cream.

I guess accepting this - that I am living the dream without everything being perfect, is the only way to be grateful for what I have without letting that gratitude be buried in lamenting the things I could do better in my life.

I have had a morning of sleeping in, a card and chocolates from the children, french toast and coffee prepared for me and time to read the papers in peace. Now I am going to go for a walk and contemplate the blessings in my life.

Wishing all those Mamas and soon-to-be-Mamas in my life a happy day!